Alligator Allegation

Just fishin’ with my buddy, trying to forget my recent stroke
Thinkin’ ‘bout surgery tomorrow, and hopin’ it’s one big joke
No fish could find our hook today, the croaker are lying low
The burnt red sun dips in the sky tellin’ us it’s time to go

Comin’ round the bayou bend marble eyeballs float on top
I kill the motor and drift a little closer to see a gator snout
The pole, with cork and hidden hook I bob to lead him in
He swims a zig-zag trailed path towards the water I be splashin’

Next thing I know I’m draggin’ him with the hook snagged in his side
My buddy grabs the nearest net and scoops him from behind
He doesn’t give much a fight when I pull him on the boat
I clamp his mouth and grip his tail and pose for a Facebook post

Let’s throw him back, let’s take him home, let’s put him in my creek
Next thing I know he’s in the chest with a string wrapped ‘round his beak
Now speedin’ out the bayou turns with our package neatly bound
We’re met by Fisheries and Wildlife men waving us around

One quick sharp spin we turn hard left, the gator goes overboard right
What was that son? You answer me. You’re going to jail tonight
All I do is tip my head, and stare with innocent eyes
There’s nothing here at all officer, nothing but us guys

What was that splash? Was that a gator? Boy, you tell me now
I saw the tail of something green disappear as it went down
The courtroom two weeks later could find no evidential proof
For the citation of alligator allegations or for being so aloof

My attorney, all he did was laugh, being paid in comic relief
He calls me now The Gator Guy, as I boiled crab for his next brief

Note: No gators were harmed in the making of this poem

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